Promising realism and honesty from the start, 39-year-old Ben spoke candidly about the ups and downs of his journey to becoming the successful sportsman he always aspired to be. Acknowledging mistakes made in his teenage years which hampered his progress, the former Hull KR player stressed the importance of making the right choices at an early age – inspiring students to think about their decisions both in and out of school.

For Ben himself, his high school years turned out to be a period of striking contrasts. Out of school, he was progressing well as a player in the sport he loved – demonstrating discipline on the pitch and honing his rugby skills to an increasingly high standard. In school, he was relishing a growing reputation as the ‘class clown’, not engaging with his work to the best of his abilities and, in his own words, “being a bit of nuisance”.  

Having first started playing rugby league at the age of eight, by the time Ben was 13/14 years old he was developing into a good player. However, it was his behaviour off the pitch which soon began to overshadow his on-pitch talents.

Speaking directly to the students, Ben said: “I was developing into quite an exciting player and was always regarded as one of the better players within my amateur team, which led to me becoming captain. However, I was also doing a lot of things in my life that weren’t really serving me well.

At your age, I had all these talents and abilities as a player but I didn’t end up doing the right things away from rugby. I’d be spending evenings hanging around on the streets and in the local park with my friends, lighting little fires, smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol and just doing things that weren’t really a great benefit to a young man who had aspirations and goals of becoming a professional sportsman.”

It was this behaviour that ultimately put a stop to his progression at a defining age. While many of his friends and fellow teammates had been spotted by talent scouts and were starting to get signed on scholarships or offered academy contracts, Ben found himself being overlooked.

Commenting on this realisation, Ben said: “I never quite made it and I remember thinking ‘Why aren’t I getting signed? I’m a good enough player – I should be getting signed.’ At that time, I didn’t realise that people were hearing about my behaviour outside of rugby and were finding out that I wasn’t actually a good kid. Word got around and I never got a contract.”

Stressing the importance of securing and maintaining a good reputation, particularly in today’s technology-driven world, Ben added: “When I was your age, we didn’t have smart phones or the level of technology there is now. So although word didn’t travel quite as fast, it still got around. These days, mobile phones and social media can transmit information at the click of a button and in the blink of an eye, if you’re not doing the right things, people are going to find out about it a lot quicker.”

With the damage having been done to his reputation, and hopes for a professional rugby career dashed, Ben plunged himself further into destructive behaviours in his social life that continued to have a detrimental effect on his teenage years. Commenting on the events of this time, Ben said: “Rugby hadn’t worked out for me and I’d got terrible grades at school because I wasn’t focused on the things that were important. Despite getting into college I soon dropped out of there too, but I didn’t really care about any of that because I was too busy wanting to mess about with my mates on a weekend. Suddenly, I’d reached a point in my life where rugby hadn’t worked out, school hadn’t worked out and college hadn’t worked out and I was left thinking ‘What am I going to do?’”    

With his options limited, the eventual answer came one day with an impromptu visit to the Army Careers office in Wakefield city centre. The successful completion of a touch-screen test paved the way for a two-day training course in Scotland and acceptance into the army at the age of 17.

A year later, Ben found himself on active service in Iraq. Although joining the army wasn’t a pathway he wanted to take, he nevertheless remains proud and grateful to have been given a chance to serve in the military. This experience also gave him time to reflect on his past whilst looking ahead to the future. Ben added: “Although I’m proud of my time in the Army, and feel it did make me a better person, the wrong choices I had made through school and my younger teenage years led me to a place where I felt there was nothing going for me and I was heading down a path that I didn’t really want to follow. When I left the Army at 21, I was determined to learn from my mistakes, take control and restart my rugby career.”

Having believed that he had missed the opportunity to play rugby league professionally on a full-time basis, Ben set himself a more realistic goal of achieving semi-professional status. “I effectively lost out on six years where I could have been playing professionally. With most of my friends getting signed at around 15/16 years old, I was 21 and thinking I’d missed the boat for pursing a full-time career. 

However, I knew I wanted to get rugby back in my life so I started applying myself differently. I set myself the goal of becoming a semi-professional player and knew that I needed to make sacrifices in order to make this happen. Having the right environment and people around you is really important and I made the conscious decision to surround myself with people who were going to inspire and motive me, not people who were going to take me back to the same negative places I had found myself in before.”

Ben’s hard work and commitment paid off when he was given a chance to play for National League One side Doncaster RFLC on a trial basis. During his time at the club, impressive performances on the pitch, particularly against Hull KR in 2005, finally brought him the positive attention he deserved for his talent and sporting capabilities. This paved the way his first full-time signing to a professional club and he officially joined Hull KR in 2006.

He remained at the club until 2011 before departing for a two-year stint at Wakefield Trinity which he regarded as two of the best years of his rugby league career. During this time, Ben also found himself in consideration for a place in the England squad as the Rugby League World Cup approached. Although narrowly missing out on a place in the final team, to attain such a high level in the sport he loves was a proud moment. Speaking about this time, he said: “Although I didn’t make the final cut, I was really proud that the positive changes that I’d made, doing the right things and working hard, had got me to such a high level in my sport where I enjoyed playing for the England Knights - the feeder team for the England Rugby League squad.”     

After returning to Hull KR as a terrace favourite in 2014, Ben once again left the club in 2017 to join York City Knights where he remained until an injury forced his early retirement from the sport in 2019. In recent years, Ben has settled in rural Holderness with his wife and two children where he enjoys a quieter pace of life and a developing career in the world of motivational speaking.

Whilst not always easy, and with a couple of bumps and misdemeanours along the way in his career, his journey from college drop-out to full-time professional sportsman is an impressive turnaround and a positive source of inspiration for the budding sportspeople of the future.

Acknowledging the difficulties experienced along the way, Ben said: “Life is going to be full of challenges, with ups and downs and times where things don’t go right for you. There will be times where you make mistakes and maybe times where you get in trouble. I’ve gone through all of that and life hasn’t always been plain sailing. I don’t know anybody who has gone through life and found that it’s a breeze, with no obstacles in the way. We all go through life overcoming certain obstacles and I’ve had plenty.

In a world of fake nonsense, particularly on social media, my goal is to speak honestly about my past and share with young people the truth about my background, the mistakes I’ve made and what I’ve had to go through in my life to achieve the things that I’ve gone on to achieve. I hope by passing on the knowledge and wisdom from my experiences, it will inspire young people to become better people and avoid some of the mistakes that I made.”

Sharing his thoughts on Ben’s visit to the school, Year 9 student Archie Hopper said: “Ben is a very inspirational person. He talked about respect and his rugby career and he also told us about how to get on the right track in life while we are young. It was a great talk, and we hope he will come back and have a training session with our school rugby team.”

Fellow student Luke McFarlane added: “It was interesting to hear Ben talk about his career and how he made bad choices but still turned things around. He explained how it would have been easier if he knuckled down in school and this was a really inspiring message to hear.”

 Commenting on the impact of Ben’s visit Matt Burnitt, Assistant Headteacher, said: “Ben has an abundance of experience on and off the Rugby field and it was an excellent opportunity for students to learn about these experiences and for Ben to impart some of his knowledge and advice on our Year 9 students. 

Ben spoke enthusiastically and motivationally about a range of issues that will undoubtedly challenge them in life - giving some sound advice along the way. He talked about self respect and respect for others, the importance of personal development, learning from mistakes and setting worthwhile goals that can be achieved. 

He spoke with passion about making the most of opportunities given to us in school and the decisions we make in life having an impact later in life. The students really enjoyed the afternoon, asking relevant questions and seeking advice. They were a credit to themselves and to the school.

I would like to thank Ben for giving up his time to visit us and we look forward to future opportunities working with him to further inspire our students.”

ABOVE: Year 9 students listened intently as Ben Cockayne delivered an honest account of his school days. 

ABOVE: Ben discussed his time as a professional Rugby player, and the effort required to achieve his aspirations.